Youth Sports 101: Top 9 Tips for Moms and Dads

Are youth sports a free babysitting service? No way! Parents have an important obligation to contribute to their children’s well-being in sports, but there’s no magic formula for doing this. Fortunately, there are some effective guidelines to follow—key principles for creating growth-promoting and enjoyable sport experiences for kids.

Youth Sports 101: Top 9 Tips for Moms and Dads

How to help children develop through sports

KEY POINTS

• Parents play an important role in contributing to children’s well-being in sports.
• There’s no set formula for becoming a successful sport parent.
• Parents can apply practical guidelines to improve the quality of children’s sport participation.

Most mothers and fathers are productive contributors to their children’s well-being in sports. Unfortunately, however, the negative effects of a small minority of parents are all too obvious.

The good news is that incidents of parental misbehavior are not the norm! In fact, the majority of parents are able to channel their genuine concerns and good intentions in a way that heightens the value of their children’s sport experiences.

How can you become a successful sport parent?

There’s no set formula, but the guidelines below are designed to increase the chances of producing favorable results.

1. Set a good example of an active person.

Active parents produce active children. If children see their mom and dad participating in and enjoying sports, then it’s going to be more natural for them to want to pursue those activities. On the other hand, if parents are couch potatoes . . .

2. Let kids participate in determining when they’re ready for sports.

Children who are forced into sports before they’re ready usually have bad experiences. When kids say they’re interested, parents should start earnestly looking at it. By involving children in the decision-making process, they feel a sense of ownership in the outcome. This creates a greater sense of commitment: “I’m doing it because I want to do it, not because I’m made to do it.”

3. Give priority to your child’s own interests.

Most kids develop a sense of their personal interests at an early age. And although parents might prefer their child be active in sports, maybe the child would rather play a musical instrument. Parents should let their children have a say in determining what tune they march to. Remember that youth sports are about what participation can do for kids, not what parents get out of it.

4. Don’t use sports as a babysitter.

Some parents erroneously believe their involvement merely consists of getting their child signed up and driving them to and from practices and games. But that’s just part of it. Parents not only have a right but a responsibility to oversee their child’s sport participation.

5. Emphasize the process of enjoyment rather than the product of winning.

Research on young athletes’ motives for playing sports has consistently shown that their primary objective is to have fun. Studies also indicate that the main reason why youngsters drop out of sports is, “It isn’t fun any more.” Simply stated, children want to play sports for personal enjoyment. And when the fun disappears, so do they.

6. Emphasize striving to improve skills rather than comparing oneself with others.

Growth and development happen at different rates in youngsters, and this should be made clear to them. It’s particularly important that children whose skill is lagging not view this as a permanent condition. What to do? Parents should praise efforts for self-improvement, which can help kids get pleasure from progress over time. This creates many worthwhile experiences in sports—even for athletes who never will be stars.

7. Establish and maintain open lines of communication.

Tell your children what you expect—things like giving maximum effort, listening to their coach, having fun—and ask what they are thinking. Make it very clear you want to know how they feel about what’s happening in practices and games. This type of two-way communication is essential.

8. Evaluate your child’s coach.

Parents should talk to the coach, regularly go to games, and occasionally attend a practice. Additionally, they should ask themselves the following questions:

• Are the young athletes treated with respect?
• Are they being taught?
• Are they given a chance to perform?
• Are they made to feel what they’re doing is a fun activity?

If not, it may be necessary to find another team for your child.

9. Don’t live your dreams through your children.

All parents identify with their children to some extent and thus want them to do well. This is natural and healthy. But sometimes parents over-identify, and the child becomes an extension of themselves. Parents who are “winners” or “losers” through their children are experiencing the “frustrated athlete” syndrome, which places extreme pressure on children. In such cases, the young athlete must excel, or the parent’s self-image is threatened. To avoid this, don’t define your own self-worth in terms of how good your children are.

Do you want to learn more about parenting young athletes?

• Sports and Your Young Athlete is an eBook that provides comprehensive information and practical guidelines to assist readers in carrying out their roles as well-informed sport parents.
• The eBook is available on this website.